Got Caffeine?
by greekgeek25
Summary: It's science fair time! Rachel Dare has decided to do her experiment on the effect of caffeine on demigods (and one satyr!). What happens when your favorite PJO characters consume too much caffeine?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: I was really bored during class today, so I decided to play around and I came up with this fan fiction. In the reviews from my other story, (Capture the Flag, Leo style) people said they wanted more caffeine high Jason. (Special thanks to Tratie Twins!) So I made this story for you all! Completely for fun, not really expecting many views, but who knows! Enjoy! Review! And tell me if you have any ideas!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Mountain Dew or PJO or HOO**

How does Caffeine Affect Demigods?  
A science fair project by Rachel Elizabeth Dare.  
Ms. Holt. Biology 1  
Clarion Ladies Academy

_Question_: Does large amounts of caffeine affect a demigod's behavior?

_Hypothesis_: I predict caffeine will affect a demigod's behavior. I think caffeine will make the demigod go crazy. I believe this is also true for any other Greek mythology being, such as a satyr. I also think no matter what godly parent the demigod has, all demigods will be affected by caffeine in the same way.

_Materials Used_:  
-multiple 24-packs of Mountain Dew cans  
-seven demigods, each with different godly parents (Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase, Piper McLean, Leo Valdez, Nico de Angelo, Clarisse LaRue, Travis Stoll)  
-one satyr (Grover)  
-tape recorder  
-tally chart of Mountain Dews drank  
-my sanity

_Procedure_:

1. Lock all participants and moderator (me!) in the basement of the Big House.  
2. Give every participant a Mountain Dew. Keep having participants drink Mountain Dew until every Mountain Dew is gone.  
3. Write down a tally on the chart for each Mountain Dew a participant drinks.  
4. Observe and record participants and their reaction to the caffeine.  
5. Keep participants in the room for the duration of the experiment, 24 hours.  
6. Try not to lose your sanity.

_Observations and Experiment_: read on to find out

_Results and Conclusions_: NEVER, EVER lock yourself in a room with seven demigods and a satyr who have been drinking Mountain Dew. EVER!

_Fun Facts_: Salt water does not help reduce the effects of caffeine. It is possible for a person to talk about the Civil War for five hours straight. Looking at the same picture for more than three hours is not good for a person's health. Mountain Dew does not set on fire; however, the person next to you can. Some people can drink fifteen Mountain Dews and not have to use the restroom. Mountain Dew and sword fighting do not mix. Warning: caffeine may cause a person to fall in love with their enemy. Even a satyr can play good dance music with pan pipes when given enough caffeine.


	2. Hours 1-3

**Author's Note: Here's the tape recording of the experiment. Thanks to all who reviewed! Enjoy! (BTW, I will write a conclusion chapter after I finish the story about the judge's comments)**

**Disclaimer: same as first chapter, plus I don't own the song Friday by Rebecca Black**

Hour 1:

Rachel: "Ok guys, just some ground rules before we get started. Bathroom's over there, though that door. Only I am able to handle the Mountain Dews. No intentionally harming anything/anyone around you. Got it?"

Participants: "Got it!"

Rachel: "Okay, everyone sit around the ping-pong table. Now, here's a Mountain Dew for each of you. Let me put the tallies on the chart. Start the timer for 24 hours. And, begin!"

Percy: "Will we get as crazy as Jason?"

Rachel: "I don't know! Why do you think I'm doing this experiment?"

Travis: "This stuff is amazing! Why have I never heard of it before!?"

Rachel: "Maybe because it has lots of caffeine that could be potentially bad for you, depending on the results of this experiment."

Annabeth: "Isn't there energy drinks with more caffeine than this?"

Rachel: "Yeah, but considering how Jason reacted to the caffeine, I didn't want to overload your systems."

Clarisse: "Done. Hand me another one."

Leo: "But didn't you just-"

Clarisse: "Yeah, yeah. I was thirsty. Hand it over."

Rachel: "Jeez, here you go."

Piper: "How in Olympus did Jason get so crazy drinking this stuff? It's not that bad."

Hour 2: (Two Mountain Dews later)

Leo: "FIRE!" _Hand ignites. He giggles._

Percy: "Does anyone else see the pretty pink pony?"

Annabeth: "Is this safe?"

Rachel: "Sure... Maybe?"

Piper: "I wonder if charmspeak works on objects?"

Grover _(humming)_: "It's Friday, Friday. Gotta get down on Friday."

Clarisse: "Hmmm... I wonder how many ways you can decapitate a monster? Well, you can-"

Travis: "Mountain Dew! I wonder how much I can sell this for? Five Drachmas? Ten? Twenty? Conner and I could be rich! Thanks for introducing us Rachel! Mountain Dew and I will be very happy together!"

Rachel: "23 more hours to go..."

Nico: "…"

Hour 3: (5 MDs per person)

Leo: "I really have to go pee."

Rachel: "GO! Please don't just sit there!"

Leo: "But the Mountain Dew is calling me to drink more..."

Percy: "The sparkly blue pony says you should go Leo."

Travis: "Don't argue with the logic of the sparkly blue pony."

Clarisse: "A pony kicked me once as a child. I kicked it back. It didn't get up off the ground."

Leo: "To pee or not to pee... The true question in life."

Piper: "Table! I command you to float! FLOAT! Rachel, why isn't it listening to my charmspeak?"

Rachel: "Maybe because it is a TABLE!"

Annabeth: "Did you know that Abraham Lincoln offered Robert E. Lee the job of commanding the Union forces during the Civil War? He declined. Robert E. Lee graduated from West Point, the same school Ulysses S. Grant went to. Also..."

Grover: "Can Mountain Dew grow on trees? I should play my pan pipes and see..."  
Travis: "Try it, brother!"

Leo: "My bladder is going to explode!" _Takes another drink._

Percy: "The green pony likes ice cream."

Nico: "…"


	3. Hours 4-6

**Author's Note: sorry for the delay in updating. Thanks for all the reviews! Ok, I have a question: who do you want to guest star in the next recording? Please review and tell me! Thanks!**

**Disclaimer: same as other chapters, plus I don't own the song Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus **

Hour 4: (8 Mountain Dews later)

Conner: "Hey, Rachel! How's your experiment doing?"

Rachel: "What do you think?"

Conner: "Wait, what is Travis-"

Percy: "CONNER! Watch out for the flaming yellow pony! He is coming to get you!"

Conner: "Uh, dude are you-"

Annabeth: "Did you know the first Civil War shots were taken at Fort Sumpter? I've been to Fort Sumpter! Spiders..."

Travis: "Bro, you're looking hot tonight! Going to a date? I bet the girls are all over you!"

Conner: "Travis?"

Piper: "I guess he's hot, but not as hot as Jason! Look at this photo I had of him in my back pocket!"

Rachel: "Umm, Piper? How long has that been in there?"

Clarisse: "HI-YA! Take that you stupid can! Clarisse is the can master!"

Leo: "Can master! Don't open your cans with your sword! You scared me! Good thing I just used the restroom..."

Grover: "Anyone know any good party songs?"

Conner: "I'm outta here."

Nico: "…"

Hour 5: (10 MDs later)

Piper: "Jason. Just look at the way his hair falls over his eyes. His eyes. They're so pretty..."

Percy: "The black pony hates Jason. The blue one doesn't like him that much either."

Piper: "His hair..."

Clarisse: "BURP!"

Leo: "Can master! Give me cans that I can light on fire and turn into liquid!"

Grover: "It's a party in the USA!"

Travis: "Got my hands up, they're playin' my song. And now I'm gonna be okay!"

Grover and Travis: "Yeah! It's a party in the USA!"

Rachel: "Kill me now."

Annabeth: "The Battle of Antietam was the bloodiest one day battle in the Civil War. Over 3,650 Americans died in the battle."

Nico: "…"

Hour 6: (14 MDs later)

Leo: "MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I am awesome! I can melt everything with my magic fire hands!"

Travis: "Pipes, you're lookin' fine."

Piper: "Ahh, Jason. He's so godly in this picture. Please marry me!"

Travis: "If you say so, sweet thang."

Rachel: "Travis, no. Piper, how long have you been looking at that same photo?"

Piper: "Three hours. Just look at his face..."

Annabeth: "William Tecumseh Sherman. Destroyed a path through Georgia and the Carolinas called 'Sherman's March to the Sea'"

Percy: "The purple pony likes destroying things."

Clarisse: "You have inflicted pain upon me can." _Unsheathes sword._ "I will inflict pain upon you."

Grover: "Who wants to dance!"

Nico: "…"


	4. Hours 7-9

**Author's Note: First, thanks XxxXGreek GeekXxxX for the idea with the caterpillar... I hope you don't mind that I changed it a little bit. Thanks for all the reviews! Review and tell me any ideas you have, and anyone you want to guest star! Thanks! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: same as always, plus I don't own any of the songs used.**

**P.S. There is some Traite in here for all you fans!**

Hour 7: (20 Mountain Dews per person)

Percy: "AHHHHH! You killed him! Travis help! He is dying and only you can save him since you're a son of Apollo! CLARISSE! WHY?!"

Travis: "Whatever you say dude."

Rachel: "Clarisse, stop slashing the air with your sword!"

Clarisse: "I will kill you evil can!"

Percy: "She killed the pony! She KILLED the PONY!" _Unsheathes Riptide._

Rachel: "No need to get violent!"

Percy: "WHACK!"

Rachel: "What the heck... I'm past caring now."

Grover: "You big disgrace! Kickin' your can all over the place! We will we will rock you! We will we will rock you!"

Piper: "Look at the way Jason's hand is resting on the rock. He's soooo handsome…"

Annabeth: "The most Civil War battles were fought in Virginia. The capital of the Confederacy, Richmond, was located in Virginia."

Leo: "I am the fire master! Bow down to me, my peasants!"

Nico: "…"

Hour 8: (23 MDs later)

Rachel: "What in the world did I get myself into."

Percy: "We will commence fighting after a potty break. I have to tinkle."

Clarisse: "I will beat you to a pulp when you come back!"

Piper: "What's a butterfly doing on the picture! It's covering Jason's face! Travis, get it off!"

Travis: "I see nothing but your beautiful face, buttercup."

Rachel: "Great. Now we have two people hallucinating."

Grover: "I'm breaking out the pan pipes!"

Leo: "PEASANTS! Why won't you ANSWER ME!"

Percy_(giggling in bathroom)_: "I don't think using the restroom should be this funny..."

Annabeth: "Benjamin Butler was one of the worst generals in the Civil War. He fought for the Union. He was hated so much that Southerners put his picture on the bottom of their chamber pots."

Nico: "…"

Hour 9: (26 MDs per person)

Leo: "I am AWESOME! Even more awesome than the god of awesomeness! Take that Apollo!"

Clarisse_(petting sword)_: "Mommy loves you. Mommy would never ever do anything to hurt you. Fish boy on the other hand..."

Percy: "Shield me, green scaly pony!"

Katie: "Hey, guys. Just checking in to see if everything's alright!"

Travis: "Oh. My. Gods."

Piper: "My Aphrodite senses are tingling! Someone's in love! I'm in love with Jason. Just look at him in this picture! I'm really glad the butterfly is gone..."

Katie: "Well, we know Piper is delirious."

Travis _(saunters up to Katie)_: "Gal, you're so hot, you're makin' my heart melt."

Katie: "TRAVIS!"

Travis: "It's ok, babe. I'm just fine sweet pea."

Annabeth: "In the Civil War, General Joseph Hooker was best know for his defeat at the Battle of Chancellorsville. He was defeated by Robert E. Lee."

Katie: "Are you... Flirting with me?"

Travis: "Why shouldn't I? I've had a crush on you for like ever."

Katie: "But- but you hate me! You always prank me!"

Rachel: "This can't be good... He's moving closer."

Travis: "Have you ever wondered why I prank you, flower princess?" _He leans in and quickly places a kiss on her lips. Katie stands there, in shock._

Grover: "Let me say yeah a yeah a yeah yeah a yeah. And let me kiss you."

Rachel: "Looks like we have some things to talk about. Here Katie, take a Mountain Dew and sit."

Nico: "…"


	5. Hours 10-12

**Author's Note: ok, this might be long but I need to address some things! Please read!**

**1.) Thanks for all the reviews! Side note:M0RKIESTAR, I love all the ideas, and I will try to use as many as I can that fit into the plot! Sure you can do your caffeine story, but please don't copy anything that I have done! Thanks! Also credit goes to you for more fedora Jason, and the idea of using Gangnam Style.**

**2.) Nico. I realize most of you are worried about him, but give him some time. I didn't think a son of death would got very crazy on caffeine until he drank a ton. He will speak later. In fact, I have a whole chapter planned dedicated to him!**

**3.) I get that this story is highly unrealistic and would never happen in real life. (News flash: demigods aren't in real life. As much as I hate saying it, it is true.) I only wrote this because I was having a bad day, and I needed something to laugh at. That is what I want you readers to get from this story: a laugh when you aren't feeling well!**

**Sorry for the long note! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: same as previous chapters; I don't own any songs used.**

Hour 10: (lost count of how many Mountain Dews... Leo set the paper on fire)

Grover: "Dance party!"

Piper: "Jason's hair is so... so pretty. It's all blond and shiny and hairy and pretty. I wish I could touch it..."

Conner: "Hey, Katie. You are wanted in the strawberry fields. Katie?"

Rachel: "She's over there, in the corner."

Conner: "Oh, my gods! My eyes! MY EYES!"

Rachel: "Yeah, they have been kissing and talking like that for the past hour."

Conner: "Travis and Katie?! How in Hades did THAT happen? Actually, never mind... I don't want to know."

Annabeth: "The Civil War started... It started...Started..."_ Falls asleep on table._

Percy: "Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch! Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead!"

Clarisse: "Annabeth is going to kill you when you wake up! In the meantime, I will demolish my worst enemy- cans!"

Conner: "I can't believe you just sang that about your girlfriend."

Percy: "The red and white ponies were getting headaches."

Leo_(Jumps up on ping-pong table)_: "OPPAN GANGNAM STYLE!"

Percy: "Oh yeah!" _Starts doing Gangnam Style dance._

Grover: "I'm breaking out the pan pipes! Na je nun ta sa ro un in gan jo gin yo ja. Ko pi han ja ne yo yu rul a neun pum gyo gi nun yo ja!" _Clarisse, Leo, Rachel, and Piper start dancing. Annabeth is still sleeping on the table. Piper is dancing with the picture of Jason._

Travis: "Katie-Kat, wanna dance with this bad boy?"

Katie_(giggling)_: "Okay!"

Conner: "I have some, uh, some pranks I need to... to pull. I'm just gonna leave..."

Nico_(still sitting in corner)_: "…"

Hour 11: (Too many MDs... Way too many)

Clarisse: "Too tired from dancing to open can... I will just slash the top off with my sword!"

Katie: "Percy! Stop dancing! There's no music!"

Grover: "Too tired..."

Percy: "Oops! Sorry Katie-Kat!"

Travis_(Growling)_: "Back off, fish boy."

Rachel: "Does anyone else feel that shaking?"

Leo: "I'm pretty sure that shaking is my awesomeness radiating outward."

Mrs. O'Leary_(outside, can be seen through window pounding on the Big House)_: "WOOF! WOOF!"

Percy: "Doggie!"

Piper: "I bet Jason would look great in a fedora! A pink one would totally complement his bronze skin tone!"

Percy: "I luv you puppy!"

Mrs. O'Leary: "Woof!"

Percy: "I see, I see..."

Annabeth: "Wha-what happened? I feel sleepy..."

Percy: "I will take your advice great Mrs. O'Leary. NINJA MODE!"

Nico: "…"

Hour 12: (Suffice it to say these people have had more MDs than you want to know)

Percy: "My ninja skills tell me to hang from the ceiling."

Annabeth: "When I was five, I killed my goldfish by feeding it to my cat."

Piper: "Jason should take his shirt off. Too bad it is just a picture... Or is it?"

Clarisse: "I am tired of you cans. I will move on to a stronger opponent... The wall."

Rachel: "Chrion's gonna kill me if we damage anything... I should have disarmed them."

Katie: "Travie, I gotta go. My strawbabies miss me."

Travis: "I will miss you with my whole heart. Bye Katie-Kat."

Katie: "Bye hunky Stoll."

Travis: "How about I take you on the date of your life tomorrow night?"

Katie_(giggles)_: "Okay!" _She leaves._

Leo: "Now for the ultimate challenge: lighting Mountain Dew on fire!" _Ignites hand and puts it in a can of Mountain Dew._

Grover: "But she gon' let it burn, baby, burn, baby! This girl is on fire! This girl is on fire!"

Leo: "Why isn't it working!" _In frustration, Leo flings his fire hand to his right. It sets the person on his right on fire._

Nico: "LEO! I'M ON FIRE! I'M ON FIRE! GET IT OFF! I WILL KILL YOU LEO! FIRE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Thalia: "Hey, what are you guys up to?" _Sees everyone. _"I think I'll come back later."

**One last thing: Do you want Thalico in this? I am indifferent; I like Thalico, but I see why people don't ship it. Tell me in reviews!**

**(Sorry for all the talking; it's Friday and I have a lot of pent-up energy!)**


	6. Hours 13-15

**Disclaimer: same as previous chapter.**

**Enjoy and Review!**

**Btw: thank you M0RKIESTAR for the idea of Travis and the non-existent Katie!**

Hour 13: (I will let you guess how many Mountain Dew our participants have consumed)

Nico: "I hate fire."

Will Solace_(came in after Nico was lit on fire)_: "You know, if you tanned more, you wouldn't have as serious burns. Also, I wouldn't have to treat them as much."

Nico: "It's not my fault my best friends are dead and we can only hang out in the underworld."

Leo: "Num-num."

Will: "Leo! Don't eat the burn ointment! That can't be good for your health!"

Rachel: "Drinking Mountain Dew is not exactly good for his health either."

Grover: "Fire man has good taste. Although, I prefer bandages."

Travis: "So, Willy man. Got a special lady?" _Wiggles eyebrows._

Will_(Looking very uncomfortable)_: "Uh, no."

Annabeth: "LIE! The banana doesn't eat fish! It eats ketchup!"

Will: "Nico, you're all good. I'm gonna leave now..."

Rachel: "Run, before-"

Percy: "Shhhhhhhh." _Begins to climb up to the ceiling. Will leaves._

Clarisse: "DIE, WALL, DIE!"

Piper: "I bet my eyes are burning because of Jason's hotness."

Hour 14: (Do you even want to know?)

Clarisse: "My life is ruined! How dare you taunt me wall?!"

Annabeth: "I saw someone get arrested. He was missing his big toe."

Jason: "What's up guys! Just wanted towdnwjgieojnvdokddcnos." _Percy the ninja dropped on Jason from the ceiling, knocking him to the floor._

Percy: "The ninja master strikes again." _Hides in a dark corner of the room._

Jason: "Ugg."

Piper: "JASON! YOU LOOK JUST LIKE YOUR PICTURE!"

Jason: "Ummm, yeah?"

Piper: "YES! BUT WITHOUT THE BUTTERFLY OBSCURING YOUR HAND!"

Jason: "Pipes, are you-" _Piper runs over and tackles him in a hug._

Grover: "You cast a spell on me, spell on me  
You hit me like the sky fell on me, fell on me  
And I decided you look well on me, well on me  
So let's go somewhere no one else can see, you and me."

Travis: "Hey, Katie! I missed you! Come here and be with the epitome of hotness!"

Leo: "Dude, that's my name!"

Rachel: "Great. Three people hallucinating. TRAVIS! Katie isn't there."

Travis: "Love you too Kates."

Jason: "I'm gonna stay a bit, make sure Piper is ok."

Nico: "Might as well join the club." _Hands Jason a Mountain Dew. He chugs it._

Hour 15: (The MD company is not going to go bankrupt anytime soon)

Grover: "I knew you were trouble when you walked in! Trouble, trouble, trouble!  
I knew you were trouble when you walked in! Trouble, trouble, trouble!"

Annabeth: "My first kiss, when I was five, was on the roof of a car. I pushed the kid off the car after he kissed me. He was in the hospital for a month."

Percy: "It is silent, but deadly."

Rachel: "What is he talking about?"

Jason: "COWABUNGA! Surf's up peeps!"

Piper_(giggling)_: "I love your swimsuit!" _Piper giggles some more. Jason stretches, showing off his abs. More giggling._

Rachel: "WHAT SWIMSUIT!"

Travis: "Katie-Kat, you look just like a chocolate-haired Taylor Swift in that hot bikini of yours." _He whistles._

Clarisse_(Drives sword through wall)_: "MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Leo: "FIRE TIME!"

Rachel: "No, please don't- " _Leo engulfs himself in flames. He runs around and gets a little too close to a sulking Nico in the corner. Nico gets lit on fire. Again._

Nico: "LEO! AGAIN! YOU BETTER SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! IT BURNS!"

Thalia_(rushes in because she heard screaming)_: "Holy Zeus. I'll get some water." _She leaves and comes back with a bucket of water and extinguishes Leo and Nico. She inspects Nico's injuries._

Nico_(says in dreamy tone of voice)_: "Thanks."

Thalia: "No prob. I'll rub some leftover ointment on your burns."

Nico_(says in dreamy tone of voice)_: "Ok."

Thalia: "I'll stay for a bit to keep an eye out for anymore hazards."

Rachel: "You might as well call this whole thing a hazard."

Jason: "FEDORAS!"

**One question that will pertain to hours 19-21: Do you want Percy as a ninja, cowboy, or prince? (Warning: I can defiantly include Percbeth in cowboy and prince, but I'm not so sure about ninja.)**

**It pertains to Hours 19-21 instead of Hours 16-18 because Hours 16-18 are Nico's Revenge!**

**MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Beware participants! (And Thalia!)**


	7. Hours 16-18 (Nico's Revenge)

**I had this idea when I first started writing this, so I hope you enjoy it! Sorry if it wasn't what you guys were hoping for, but I had a fun time writing it! Enjoy!**

**Disclamier: same as other chapters**

Hour 16: (Revenge of the Mountain Dews)

Nico: "I LOVE MOUNTAIN DEW! IT IS MY NEW BEST FRIEND! James will be soooooo mad. James is my ghost friend. He lives in the Fields of Punishment. Nice place this time of year. Cheap real-estate. Although, it is hard to find a place to build that is not covered in lava. Lava is hot. I burned myself trying to cross a river made of fire. I bet Leo would like that. Can Leo bathe in fire? I should find out..

"I ate a hot dog once. I put ketchup, mustard, relish, cheese, chili, and mayonnaise on it. I hate mayonnaise. It's so... so white. And slimy. And gross. Did you know it is possible to kill someone with mayonnaise? I tested my theories.

"Do you want to know something that scarred me for life! I bet you do! Something that scares me for life can't be that bad, right? I'm only the invincible son of the Underworld! Ohhhh, I like that! The big bad son of Hades! Whoop-Whoop!

"I'm like the stud of the Fields of Punishment. Dead evil girls are all over me. Do you know how many girl ghosts have proposed to me? I am awesome! One time, a guy ghost proposed to me. Awk-WARD.

"Even though I am the Liam Hemsworth or Taylor Lautner of the Underworld, alas, I can't find a mate in the above-world. Although I do have a crush...

**(Author's Note: I believe you all know where this is going... Many of you wanted Thalico, so here you go. It will be one sided tho, for all you non-fans. Even if you hate Thalico, keep reading. I promise to make it as cheesy and funny as possible!)**

"Her name is _(sighs)_ Thalia. I have a feeling she will kill me now. She's so strong and smart and sparky and superb and stunning and sublime and stately and shocking and stupefying and stimulating and savage and striking. She's so… so… awesome.

"Of course, Aphrodite graced me with these good looks for no reason. As you all may know, Thalia is a hunter. And not the good kind either. The bad kind, who swear off guys for eternity. I mean that literally; they are immortal. Too bad these good looks have to go to waste...

"Dudes, I sound like Leo. Wait, wait, let me get into character. _(puffs out chest and runs hands through hair)_ 'Hey babes, your dream is here! Get ready to board the awesome ship, know as the Argo II! It's your lucky day, your captain just happens to be the one and only Awesome Super Commander Leo! Now kiss me senseless!'

"Hey, Leo! Please don't look at me like that! I really don't like to be extra crispy. Oh, uh, hey Thalia. I didn't know you were here! Ha-ha... Please don't kill me too! Although, if I was dead, I finally could be the dead stud of the Underworld. Unless I come back as a ghost and haunt you all..."

Rachel: "…"

Percy: "…"

Annabeth: "…"

Leo: "…"

Grover: "…"

Travis: "…"

Jason: "…"

Piper: "…"

Thalia: "…"

Clarisse: "…"

Hour 17: (Revenge of the caffeine)

Nico: "So I was like, 'no', and she was like, 'yes', and then I was like 'If you don't give me the carrot I will send Spike to kill you.' Then she was like 'You wouldn't', and I was like 'Yes, I would' and she stuck her tongue out at me. I chased her and did a flying squirrel leap onto her. Then I got all up in her face sayin' 'Don't you dare sass me gurl! I know you didn't just insult me chica!' Then a chicken walked in front of us, and I screamed 'OH MY GODS! IT'S A CHICKEN! CALL THE POLICE!' And she was like 'Dont kill the innocent chicken!' And I replied, 'How do you know it's innocent?' and she was like 'CHICKEN KILLER!' I was about to respond, but Tala came home and everything went BOOM!"

Thaila: "Wow, just… wow."

Rachel: "Did you know he could talk this much?"

Travis: "What happened to the puppy!"

Leo: "Bock-Bock!"

Grover: "Chicken dance!"

Percy_(giggles)_: "Chinchilla."

Jason: "Puerto Rico baby!"

Piper_(crying)_: "I-It's just s-so sad!"

Annabeth: "He was talking to his sister, right?"

Clarisse: "SPIKE!"

Hour 18: (Revenge of the cans)

Nico: "Look at me! I'm super death breath! I'll save you from ponies, rainbows, princesses, flowers, and candy canes! MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hand me the super glue!" _Takes empty cans and superglues them together to make a tiara. Nico sets it on his head._ "SUPER DEATH BREATH! To the rescue!" _Makes weird flying noises and pretends to fly around the room, eliminating anything pink with his imaginary wand._

Rachel: "Well, he has lost it."

Leo: "Super death breath! Help! I'm drowning in mayonnaise!"

Jason: "T'sup dudes and dudettes?"

Nico: "When trouble calls... I party! Crank up the music mule dude!"

Grover: "SARYR! How dare you insult me!"

Clarisse: "Don't worry, I've got your back lamb man!"

Travis: "Katie! Don't die! Super Death Breath, save my princess!"

Nico: "PRINCESS! Where is she! I will chop her up into pieces and feed her to my pet zebra, Lenny!"

Annabeth: "Llamas, llamas, llamas, llamas, llamas, llamas, llamas, llamas, llamas!"

Piper: "My hero! Jason! Carry me into the sunset!"

Nico: "HERO! JASON! There is only one hero of the dark! ME! I will exact my revenge on you Jason!"

Percy: "You can use my sword! Ninjas need nothing but their intelligence and reflexes."

Rachel: "Maybe being a ninja isn't your forte Percy."

Nico: "MY REVENGE IS COMPLETE!" _Whacks Jason on the head with his tiara._

**One last thing: Any new viewers, do you want Percy to become a cowboy or a prince. Right now it is tied! Please review and tell me!**


	8. Hours 19-21

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed! 100 reviews! Yea!  
The winner of the Percy contest is...  
Wait. I'll just let you read on to find out...**

**Disclaimer: same as always, plus I don't own Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash**

Hour 19: (Only fifteen Mountain Dews left...)

Rachel: "Where's Percy?"

Grover: "My bro man is livin' it up in the Hong Kong of New Mexico!"

Rachel: "I have no idea what in Hades you just said."

Clarisse: "Expect an attack at o fiftieth hour."

Percy_(coming out of bathroom) _**note: everything Percy says in these hours is said with a very bad country accent**: "Howdy, y'all!" _Struts to the table and sits. Tips non-existent hat to the participants._

Annabeth: "I like your hair Mr. Cowboy-Sheriff-Man. May I pet it? It looks like my evil gibbon, Chuck."

Percy_(whistles)_: "What's a fine gal like you doin' in this here saloon?"

Annabeth: "Your eyes look like melted seaweed."

Percy: "Why, aren't you darlin'!"

Jason: "Dude, Mr. Sheriff-dude, what do you think you're doing in our beach! This is for surfers only, man!"

Percy_(stands up and gets face to face with Grace)_ **(sorry, I'm in a rhyming mode today**): "Now, what do you think you're doin', showin' up at my saloon and struttin' around like some cattle with a coyote bite?"

Jason: "What makes you so high-and-mighty?"

Percy_(tugs on shirt, as if pulling on a badge on the shirt)_: "This here is my sheriff's badge, mister. It means, I rule this here saloon!"

Jason: "That 'badge' doesn't mean anything on our sand!"

Travis: "SURFERS VS. COWBOYS!" _Jason and Percy glare at each other and move to opposite sides of the room._

Percy: "Y'all, chose your side!"

Piper: "The surfer is hot! I chose surf!" _Stands by Jason._

Travis: "You're right Katie! I do look great in a swimsuit! Surf!"

Nico: "I hate sun. The sun is evil. It burns me. Kinda like Leo. Cowboy."

Annabeth: "Surfer man is hot. Surf!"

Percy: "Hold on now, miss. A gal as spiffy as you shouldn't be gettin' all burnt up on some beach! Although, I wouldn't mind seein' you in one of those bikini-things..."

Annabeth: "I do like your hair... Cowboy!" _Stands by Percy and gives him a quick kiss on the lips._

Percy: "Sweet molasses!"

Jason: "The rest of you! Come over here and shred some waves with us!"

Clarisse: "SHRED! I love shredding things! Surf!"

Thalia: "I don't like water. Cowboy."

Leo: "All the ladies luv Leo shirtless! Surf!"

Grover: "I always side with my bro man! Cowboy!"

Jason: "RACHEL! You will judge our contest! What contest should we have peeps?"

Nico: "AN AWESOME CONTEST! I LOVE AWESOME! AWESOME IS AWESOME! I LOVE AWESOME! AWESOME!"

Thalia_(yells at Nico)_: "SHUT UP!" _Sends lightning bolt on him and exits the room. Nico gets lit on fire from the lightning bolt. Percy puts it out._

Nico: "I'm so hot, even fire is attracted to me!"

Leo: "You're stealing all my pick-up lines dude!"

Rachel: "No wonder you two are single."

Hour 20: (Five MDs left…)

Percy: "I'm more awesome than a jackrabbit lassoing a bronco!"

Jason: "I'm more awesome than an octopus hang-10-ing!"

Rachel: "ENOUGH! It's a tie! Now sit down and call a truce!"_ Percy and Jason reluctantly shake hands. Everyone sits down._

Travis_(talks to non-existent Katie)_: "Sorry that took so long Katie-Kat. I've missed you!" _Grins, then starts making out with non-existent Katie._

Miranda_(bursts through door, dragging a giggling Katie)_: "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER! She keeps giggling, and won't stop talking about how she's in 'love' with her 'Trav-baby-poo'! Who the heck is that!? Get her back to normal! What did you give-" _Stops when she sees Rachel huddling in the corner, Jason flexing his muscles, Piper giggling, Annabeth petting Percy, Percy lassoing things, Nico 'zapping' things, Leo lighting himself on fire, Grover singing random songs, Clarisse attacking the wall, and Travis making out with air._ "Oh. My. Gods."

Katie_(runs over and hugs Travis)_: "TRAV-BABY-POO! I MISSED YOU!"

Travis: "AHHHHHHH! TWO KATIES! What do I do? Which one do I chose! One is hugging me, and one is kissing me!"

Grover: "I believe kisses are always better!"

Clarisse: "Who's the spy?!"

Annabeth: "Nacho cheese."

Piper: "Jason..."

Leo: "Someone call 911! I'm on fire!"

Nico: "ZEBRA! Lenny, come to papa!"

Travis: "I chose... the hugging Katie 'cause she didn't insult my shoes!" _Katie squeals in delight and kisses Travis._ "MARRY ME KATES!"

Katie: "YES!"

Miranda: "NO! I will never, ever, ever drink Mountain Dew! EVER!" _Drags a crying Katie out the door._

Hour 21: (It is a sad day… the MD is gone…)

Rachel: "What are Nico and Leo doing?"

Percy: "I reckon they is tryin' to wrangle in that there zebra."

Leo: "Calm down Lenny!"

Nico: "Do you want me to use my fire power on you!"

Leo: "Dude, I'm the one with the fire power! You're Super Death Breath!"

Grover: "I fell into a burning ring of fire! I went down, down, down and the flames went higher! And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire! The ring of fire!"

Percy: "I could use some good ole fashioned sarsaparilla!"

Rachel_(grabs salt water from the bathroom and squirts it in Percy's face)_: "Hopefully this will get you back to normal." _Percy faints._ "Oops."

Annabeth: "At least I can still pet his hair! Llamas!"

Piper: "Our child will be named Thompson Alexander Allen Adam Grace!"

Jason: "What's this?" _Picks up salt water and drinks it._ "AHHHHH! WATER! It's eating me from the inside!" _Starts banging head on table._

Clarisse: "If you want to see your insides, I can help you..."

Travis: "Where has my Katie-Kat gone! The wedding is in an hour!"

**There is only three chapters left. :(  
I am thinking about making a Roman version of this. Review or PM me and tell me if you think I should do it or what characters you want me to include! Thanks!**


	9. Hours 22-24

Hour 22: (The Mountain Dew is gone! The side-effects are not...)

Nico: "AWESOME IS THE NEW AWESOME!"

Travis: "The wedding is starting! Where is my bride? Someone, GET HER!"

Jason: "Eww, weddings have cooties! I'm outta here!" _Exits room._

Piper: "Nooooooo! Jason..."

Grover: "I call being DJ for the reception!"

Clarisse: "As long as I can harm her, I will get your bride!" _Charges to door._

Rachel: "CLARISSE! HEEL! You aren't allowed to exit this room, or else I'll take away your sword!" _Clarisse glares at her, but sits back down._

Travis: "WHAT ABOUT MY BRIDE!?"

Leo: "According to the fire chart, today is a very inauspicious date for a wedding. I would consider rescheduling."

Travis_(sighs)_: "You can't argue with the fire chart." _Yells into the hallway. _"KATIE, I'M SORRY, BUT WE HAVE TO POSTPONE THE WEDDING! DOES NEXT WEEK WORK FOR YOU?"

Percy_(wakes up and sees Annabeth)_: "You're the fairest maiden in the land! Please make-out with me in my castle!"

Annabeth: "You're cute, and you talk funny. Ok!" _Percy and Annabeth go to an unoccupied corner of the room._

Percy: "I'll just shut this door so no one can see us, and we can have some privacy!" _Percy shuts invisible door, and they begin to kiss._

Hour 23: (Stupid side-effects)

Nico: "I've never kissed a girl before. Looks like Percy has though. He seems to be a professional at it."

Leo: "They sure are making some flames."

Piper: "Ah, true love."

Grover: "Get me with those green eyes, baby as the lights go down. Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around. 'Cause I see sparks fly  
whenever you smile."

Travis: "Isn't an hour a little much? Now, if Katie and I were kissing, that would be a different story..."

Nico: "Gah! What just landed on my face?"

Rachel: "Oh, my gods. It's Percy's shirt."

Piper: "He has nice abs."

Leo: "Too bad we can't see them 'cause Annabeth's covering it."

Grover: "You're the man Perce! Go get her!"

Clarisse: "If they don't stop kissing, I will pound their heads into the ground!"

Rachel: "PERCY! PUT. ON. YOUR. SHIRT. NOW! ANNABETH! Don't you DARE take off your shirt!"

Leo: "Personally, I'm all for her takin' it off."

Annabeth_(giggling and pulling away from Percy)_: "I think they can see us!"

Percy: "Wha-" _Clarisse runs up and smacks him on the face._

Clarisse: "Of course we could see you, idiot! Now stop or I'll feed you to my polar bear!"

Percy: "B-but..." _Clarisse glares at him, and everyone sits back at the ping-pong table._

Hour 24: (Thank gods... It's almost over)

Rachel: "It seems that everyone is reverting back to how they were at the beginning of this experiment."

Percy: "Please don't hurt me ponies..."

Annabeth: "Abraham Lincoln was killed by John Wilkes Booth!"

Piper: "I lost the picture of Jason!" Starts crying.

Leo: "I like fire. Fire is my friend."

Rachel: "Thirty seconds..."

Travis: "I miss my Katie-Kat..."

Grover: "It's Saturday, Saturday. Gotta get down on Saturday."

Rachel: "Ten seconds..."

Clarisse: "I hate cans."

Nico: "I will get you Leo!"

Alarm: "BEEP! BEEP!"

Rachel: "It's done! Thank you all for participating. You can go now." _Everyone stumbles out of the room and goes back to their respective cabins. They all promptly fall asleep._

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited, or followed! The story is finished, but don't worry, I still have two epilogues to write!**

**The idea of a Roman story has gotten pretty good feedback, so after I finish the epilogues, I will start on that. Review or PM me any characters you want included. I already know Reyna and Octavian will be victims...**

**Disclaimer: same as last; don't own Sparks Fly by Taylor Swift**


	10. Judging

Epilogue 1: Judging

Day of the Science Fair

"Well, Miss Dare, it's an interesting project. Where did you get the idea of investigating the effects of caffeine on dyslexic and ADHD teenagers?" _the judge asked me._

_So that's what the mortals saw. I figured the mist would protect any Greek thing I put in my project, so I just kept the terms in it._

"I got this idea after a kid in the ADHD/dyslexic camp I work at got into a stash of Mountain Dew. I wondered if it would be the same for people of all different ethnicities." _Wow, nice save._

"Do you enjoy working at the camp?" _Don't really know what this has to do with my project, but whatever._

"Uh, yeah. It's pretty fun." _You know, if you find battling monsters fun._

"I have a nephew who is dyslexic and ADHD. He's very sweet. Loves to play basketball." _Looks like I stumbled upon a demigod._

"If I may ask, how old is he?"

"He's about ten. His father left when he was born. Never did like that man. He was always reciting these terrible haikus." _Insert mental face palm. Stupid patron god doesn't know how to keep to himself._

"About your experiment, what would you do differently next time?" _Not really planning on doing this experiment again. EVER!_

"I would probably have a control group that just drinks water."

"Very good. Everything seems to be in order. Nice job. This is one of the best projects I've seen." _It better be. I didn't go through all that just to get a honorable mention._

"If I may ask, could I please listen to some of the tape recording of the experiment." _Uh-oh._

"Umm, well... it... um."

"That wild, huh?" _No. It was completely tame._

"Yes."

"Can you tell me some of the high points of the experiment?" _How in Hades do I tell a mortal all that happened?_

"It was pretty exciting when one of the participants got lit on fire from an uncontrollable lighter. Some of the participants started hallucinating ponies and butterflies. Some of them passed out. Three of them had heavy make-out sessions in the corner. One couldn't stop playing music. One attacked everything in sight. An introverted participant talked for an hour straight then ran around the room pretending he was a superhero."

"Your friends sound pretty crazy."

"You have no idea."

**Sorry if it wasn't that funny… I promise the participants' epilogue will be though. I think I will have to split it up in two sections, so expect two more chapters!**

**Thanks for reviewing!**


	11. Participants' Problems Part 1

Epilogue 2: Participants' Problems Part 1 **(alliteration!)**

Rachel's POV

Everyone was depressed after dinner. Chiron had just announced that Mr. D would be returning to camp for another fifty years. (Turns out Zeus doesn't like it when you flirt with Hera…)

Chiron asked me to give the campers a pick-me-up. He said he had heard stories of my experiment, and he wanted me to show it to the campers. I said sure, what the heck. The whole camp watched the experiment at campfire.

Good news: the campfire was the highest and brightest it had ever been.

Bad news: I am hiding in my cave right now as the participants hunt me down.

_One week later_

Clarisse's POV

Ahh, I love sword fighting in the morning. The feeling of the crisp air on my skin as I behead dummies.

Maimer (NOT Lamer, no matter what Jackson says!) had a crack in the hilt, so I sent it to the forges to get repaired. Jake had told me it was completed, so I went to pick it up at the armory before I started my morning practices.

I went to the armory and opened the box entitled 'Clarisse's Sword'. I stuck my hand in, expecting to feel the grip of my sword. Instead, I pulled out...

CANS! WHAT!? It was a sword made up of a bunch of glued Mountain Dew cans.

"HEPHAESTUS CABIN," I bellowed. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

Grover's POV

I ran through the forest, trying to make it to the Council of Cloven Elders meeting on time. A nymph had a question about acid rain, and it took a little longer than I expected to answer it.

Now I was late to the meeting. Maron and Silenus would never forgive me.

Panting heavily, I arrived at the field where the meeting is held. My eyes widened as I took in the sight before me.

Maron and Silenus were doing the dougie to the song We are Never Ever Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift.

"Yo, G-Man! We saw your sweet moves on that video! We decided to try it for ourselves, dawg!" Maron said to me. Keep in mind that both Maron and Silenus were fat, old, and grumpy satyrs. Seeing them like this, well, I'm scarred. FOR LIFE!

This must be my punishment for going crazy in the experiment.

The fates are cruel.

Leo's POV

I was happily walking in the woods, heading to camp from Bunker 9. My mind was whirling as I thought of all the projects I needed to complete this summer.

Like, for example, the giant programable banner I needed to build to go over the dining pavilion. That way, it could constantly show announcements and other things, like 'All the ladies get free admission into Leo World' or 'You just wish you were as hot as Leo'.

Anyways, I was strolling along when suddenly I was attacked by skeletons! Three skeletons just came out of the ground and started hitting me. (Two guys and a girl. I bet the girl would have been a supermodel if she was alive.) I lit myself on fire, but the skeletons seemed to be fire-proof. I started freaking out! I don't wanna die!

Just as one of the skeletons was about to impale a bone into my stomach, Nico sauntered up to me, laughing his face off.

"That's what you get for lighting the awesomely-awesome-supreme-skeleton-commander on fire. TWICE!"

"It's not my fault! I just wanted to see if I could light a liquid on fire!" I protested.

"Too bad. You hurt me anyway. Bernard, Benny, and Betty, stay with Leo all day. Don't kill him, but feel free to annoy him." And with that, Nico backed up into a shadow and disappeared.

Great. Now I was stuck with these things for the entire day.

At least Betty is hot...

Nico's POV

With Leo's revenge taken care of, I shadow traveled to some random forest in Pennsylvania. I didn't really care where I went, as long as I was away from camp.

Turns out, that was not such a smart decision on my part.

As soon as I stepped out of the shadows, a silver arrow whizzed past my head, and I was pushed to the ground by someone.

"What are you doing here, de Angelo?" Thaila growled in my ear. Out of all the places, I had to land in a feminist camp. Great.

I was pushed up to my feet, and came face to face with Thaila.

"Come here to propose to me?" Thaila asked with a smirk. Jeez. You accidentally say you like a girl, and they think you will marry them on the spot.

Before I had a chance to respond, Artemis started yelling at me.

"How DARE you have a crush on one of MY HUNTERS! Then you have the audacity to SHADOW TRAVEL into MY CAMP! I will turn you into a JACKALOPE!"

And poof. I was a jackalope. The hunters laughed at me, then ran off to do whatever immortal teenaged girls do.

It can't be that bad, right? As long as I can get into the underworld, my dad can change me back. That is, if he wants to...

So, I guess I'll be a jackalope for a little bit.

Wait. Do I smell a chimera?_ (Twitches little rabbit nostrils) _Chimeras eat jackalopes!

Uh-oh.

**I hope you guys liked it! The rest of the participants (plus Jason) will have their epilogue in the next chapter! Review and tell me what you think! Thanks!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own PJO or HOO or We are Never Ever Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift or the dougie dance.**


	12. Participants' Problems Part 2

Epilogue 2: Participants' Problems Part 2

Piper's POV

After a long day of sword fighting, rock wall climbing, and pegasus riding, all I wanted to do was collapse on my ugly pink and frilly bed.

So I strutted into my cabin, closed my eyes, and flopped onto my bed. I noticed my bed felt kinda funny, but I didn't think anything of it until I opened my eyes.

Pictures of Jason assaulted my vision as I stared at my ceiling. My eyes roamed around the cabin. Every single inch of my cabin was covered with pictures of Jason. Even my bed!

It's not that I mind looking at Jason, it's just that when a thousand pictures of him are staring at you, it's kinda creepy.

That's when I heard snickering coming from outside the cabin door. I opened it to find Jason laughing at me.

"Like the decoration job?" he asked, oh-so-innocently.

"Jason. I'm going to kill you." Jason, being the smart boy he is, turned and ran.

Jason's POV

Piper's face was hilarious! Finally, I get revenge for her drawing a mustache on me when I fell asleep on her couch.

I skidded into my cabin, knowing that she wouldn't follow. I'm not the only one creeped out by the huge statue of my dad's alter-ego.

My eyes widened as I took in the sight of my cabin. Sand coated the floor, and multiple palm trees were spaced throughout the room. Half of the cabin was filled with dark blue water, and several surf boards littered the ground.

"COWABUNGA!" was written on the walls, and a few crabs meandered around on the sand. My cabin had been turned into a beach.

But that wasn't the worst of it. The statue of my dad's alter-ego was dressed for a day at the beach. Sunglasses covered his electric eyes, a floppy hat rested on his head, and SPF 30 sunscreen was slathered over his chest. He was wearing a bright blue speedo. I really hoped I would never see him in a speedo. EVER.

Why did I have to be a surfer? I hate caffeine.

I knew of only one person who could pull this off. "PERCY!" I screamed as I grabbed my sword.

Travis's POV

"Dude, I-I don't know if I can do this…" I stuttered to Conner as I stood outside the Demeter cabin door.

I was there to pick Katie up for our date. Even when high on caffeine, a promise is a promise. I was worried. What if she didn't want to go out with me? Does she hate me? Does she even remember I kissed her at all?

I know I certainly remember. I had never felt sparks like that before. That's part of the reason I am standing at her door now. I can't wait to see her again, even if she does hate me.

"Be calm, be cool, be like Conner," Conner advised me as the door swung open to reveal Kate. She looked breathtaking in a simple green dress with black leggings.

"Uh, h-hi Katie," I greeted nervously, while fidgeting with the collar on my shirt. Conner rolled his eyes and sauntered off to talk to Miranda.

"H-hey, Travis," Katie answered, just as nervous as I was.

"Katie, I-I'm sorry about what, you know, happened. I wasn't really thinking, but I don't really regret it," I started rambling, without really thinking. "It was the best kiss I had ever received, and it just left me wanting more. Sorry for talking so much, and it's fine if you don't like me back. I'll just, you know, live alone with cats or something. And-"

"Travis," Katie interrupted me. "Are you going to take me on that date or not?" She smiled. I grinned back at her.

"I would love that Katie-Kat."

"Don't call me that, Trav-baby-poo."

Percy's POV

_The black pony wants revenge..._

It's the voices again! They keep haunting me!

_The pink pony can see you..._

They won't go away! All the sudden I'm walking along, and then, BAM, a creepy voice is speaking to me.

_Beware of the green pony._

What is happening?

_The red pony enjoys hurting people._

Someone help me!

_The yellow pony is plotting... Yo, boss, got any donuts?_

Blackjack?!

_Oops. Blew my cover._

Why is Blackjack sending me creepy messages about my caffeine-created ponies?

_Clarisse paid me donuts to do it._

Donuts will make a pegasus do anything. Even haunting its own master.

_Seriously, boss. Chocolate are my favorite. Hint, hint..._

Annabeth's POV

Dear Camp Jupiter,  
In this package, I have included several things, along with this letter. This package includes everything you need to preform a science fair experiment, should the time ever arise when you need a quick idea. This experiment was done at CHB, and let me say, it is an experience none of us will soon forget. I promise this is not a trick, nor will the experiment harm you very much. Please notify me if you do get this and decide to use it.  
Yours in demigodishness,  
Annabeth Chase, daughter of Athena

**It's done! I'm sad, yet excited at the same time. Please review and tell me your thoughts on this chapter, and on the story as a whole.**

**I hope to have the sequel to this up soon. PM me if you want the link to the story once I finish writing the first chapter.**

**Once again, thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited, or followed this story. You people are the ones that inspire me to keep writing!**

**Thanks again, greekgeek25.**


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